This poem is really, REALLY bad because I've never learned how to write poetry before (ㅠㅠ) so I think all the rhymes and meters are wrong, but... please read with mercy! :P I was kind of trying to express family love with the old shoes at the entrance of our home. I hope I did it right.
Shoes
Dirty shoes
Scattered on the entrance
Of our front door
Trampled, crushed
By the feet of others
On the hard floor.
Wrinkled loafers
Black and soft
Leathery outside
Long heeled boots
Brisk and stern
But drooping tiredly
Once white sneakers
Fading grey
Comfortably flat
And more sneakers,
Still more faded
Dusty weary colors.
These shoes
Are not from famous
Companies or shoe designers
These shoes
Do not look new,
Or shine like wet shoe polish
But still
These shoes are
Beautiful, content.
To this day
I cannot learn
To place my shoes neatly
For looking
At those scattered shoes
Just make me so happy.
As always, I really like your creativity :) the warmth and sense of loving family conveyed through something as simple as shoes was some really nice symbolism, and I loved the cozy feeling it gave me as I read it - it was like being transported right back to the hearth-glow threshold of home :)
ReplyDeletethough I don't think getting poetic feelings by looking at scattered shoes is a very good excuse for not cleaning them up ;P
nice!!
ReplyDeletethis poetry is very.. umm.. ASIAN
well, because only Asians take off their shoes when they come inside, right?? :P
I love the descriptive language which brings about an image of little shoes jumbled up together like family!!
But it kind of gives me the feeling that all your family members are tired..
i dunno why but it just gives me the droopy feeling..
maybe its because many of your word choices say "drooping" "faded" "dusty"
But still! you were excellent conveying the warm and cozy feeling
and I cant believe you're younger than me but still writing so well 0.0
the WRITING GENIUS must be in your family's genes or somethingㅋㅋ
anyway, great poetry!
I never thought about how Asian my poem was (having always taken off my shoes indoors, even in America)! I used those "droopy" word choices :P because I kind of wanted to show the love and bond of a family, and that even though each family member has a tired and dreary life, filled with busy matters, they can always find rest in each other and still be happy. :3 Thanks for your compliments! I truly don't deserve them, but you're very kind to say so. I want to read your poem too >_< post!!
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