The Pain of our Family
7am
A
new day starts with the chirping of my pet parrot, LTE Optimus
Who
is my only connection with my family elsewhere
Who is
silenced with a touch
9am
The
chemistry teacher acidizes my mind,
Pouring
out oil-like facts,
Me
absorbing the facts like an oil cleanup ship
Collecting
them inside, unable to be used
1pm
My
stomach is purring for the meat,
Then
disgusted with the leftover
That
will return to Gaia,
Only
to find an unpleasant mother
2pm
I
return to my robotic lectures
And
think how I have been ignoring my ties with my family for days
5pm
I am
walking back to my cement building,
Wandering
in the ancient mother’s skin,
Wondering
how much of her hair must have been cut
To
build my home
7pm
I
talk with my family through my pet
Not
seeing its tiny waves that carries my voice
That
carries my mother’s voice
That
carries my father’s voice,
That
carries my sister’s voice,
That
carries bombs against insects.
11pm
The
free imprisonment of studying is over
And I
go the mini-mart full of food.
Full
of trees obliterated into millions of sheets
Full
of transparent harms
that
take thousands of years to become a part of Earth
1am
Time
to say good night to the stars that cannot be seen
To
my family in our house
But it
will never be a good night for the family
The
family that was born before my family was born
Lying
in bed
Asking
for some medicine,
Who
is silenced by their own children.
that was just soooo beautiful and creative...I loved it loved it loved it. (being 100% sincere!!!) here are the parts I looooved in your poem:
ReplyDelete1. the "chirping of your pet parrot" was nice imagery
2. the reference to Gaia
3. the cool, innovative way you arranged your stanzas with time
4. ancient mother's skin...that was creepy but cool
there were just a few parts I couldn't understand and I'd love to hear your explanations >.<
1. what's with the ancient mother's skin and the reference to cut hair?! o_O what kind of symbol does it contain?
2. what's the "family that was born before my family was born"??
3. was there any special inspiration...or what message were you trying to convey with this poem?
anyway, great great great poem *.* definitely going to see this published if scriptura ever compiles a book!! keep up the good work hyuck>.<
thanks for the comment and to answer your question,
Delete1. skin is just the ground, because Gaia was a reference to the Earth and the hair is a metaphor for trees, kind of thought of that cuz we all cut our hair and people have hair on their legs, head, etc but there are still a few places where there aren't.
2. the first famliy mentioned in that phrase is "Nature" because since ancient times, people called the Earth 'mother' and the sky 'father" and the second family is...well literally my family (my mom, dad, sister)
3. My message (although i know it was very unclear, didn't really have the time to make a proofread my in-the-bus made poem) was about the environment, kind of showing my everyday life along with all the non-eco things that happen along with it. I also inserted some tellings about my family because first, the subject does have to be about family. Second, I wanted to show how although the human race might be silencing our ancient family, in the end, like me and my family, will become connected again...or at least i hope
Oh wow, this poem is just AMAZING. It's like, if my poem was 3 cms deep, this is 10 meters deep! If I hadn't read the answers to Esther's questions, I wouldn't have been able to understand all of it with my tiny brain. :P But I did get the nature thing, which was very interesting (it made me think more about the things I just looked at and passed by thoughtlessly around me that were harming our environment). Also, I loved the parrot, too - I thought it went well with the nature theme. All the metaphors were really good! I wish I could read more of your poems... -Lydia
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